2nd Ban appeal

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Pinkjemm

Known Member
Jan 23, 2019
86
30
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#1
IGN: Pinkjemm
Reason: Toxicity and Many other disrespectful deeds
Length of ban: Permanent
Appeal:

I was banned July 10th , 2019. It has been a few months already which is incredible to say how fast time flies. 8 months ago, I was someone I wouldn't say I could look back and think "I never regret those actions" because I do regret them and is one of the reasons why I am here today making this appeal. Even if this appeal is denied, which I most likely know it will, I just wanted to apologize to everyone. Klozer, I bullied him about how he was "kissing ass" to staff to better position himself to become one and I truly see how , even tho he became staff, it wasn't through the ways of "kissing ass" , its was just his kindheartedness and maturity which I failed to see. Maybe at the time I was a little jealous by his knack of communication and out-goingness to bring people closer, which I fail to do many times. There are some things I still see in Klozer that makes me still indifferent about him, but he's a respectable guy and my immaturity and dense-mindedness blinded me to see that.

Staff, pertaining mostly towards TMS and RTFrog, I have had many quarrels with because I lacked understanding. There are some incidents which I still feeling the same in , but regardless I realized my lack of appreciation and respect I had for them. TMS is probably one of the most hardworking individuals that I've experience, yet can be quite cocky and over the top, but who doesn't have moments like those? , and I neglected to see that and just stuck with the "gang mentality" i was in. I can say the same to RTFrog. By far one of the most chillest guys and understanding, even when I was brutality yelling at him in a discord vc, he kept calm and collected.

Right now, I'm just floating by through life continuing to live on, sometimes reminiscing about Maestrea. I always think to myself "what if I never associated with the group i was in? what would that be like?". I realized I chose to follow a dark path and look where I am now. But without making that choice I wouldn't have realized my mistakes, I wouldn't be here doing this appeal. Last year , I wasn't what I was, I was depressed , lonely, and looking for attention. I hungered for the desire to make people laugh and want me. Maybe that's why i was so drawn into that group, it was very infamous and everyone knew about us. Maybe I still want that , just to feel noticed, maybe that's why I'm making this appeal, but I just want that just not with the negativity and destain I received and lashed out. I know that I truly want to get unbanned, but I don't know if it would be good for me. I've learned from my mistakes, but I don't know if , well I'm scared to come back and make the same mistakes if I do come back. Not the toxicity, but the unawareness. Iv'e learned about empathy through these past months, and it really hurts to know that I was this toxifying. It reflected on me and I thought "what if this happens to when i speak to my mother? how does my mother feel? what about future relationships? Will I be the main problem?". I really want to avoid being toxic, and I think I've progressed enough to try to come back.

I have already know that the actions I've already done won't be fixed by writing this essay, but to know that I've written my apology to everyone, hopefully everyone (sorry if I forgotten anyone),and its just a some weight off my shoulder that I can finally lay to rest. Thank you for taking your time to read this, I really appreciate the consideration towards reading this.
 

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Aze

Administrator
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Admin
Sep 27, 2016
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#2
Hey! If your ban appeal is accepted, do know that you are expected to know the rules. Breaking any rules or showing any signs of your past behaviour which resulted in your ban will most likely result in you being rebanned without any appeal!

Does this sound alright to you?
 

Pinkjemm

Known Member
Jan 23, 2019
86
30
48
22
#3
Hey! If your ban appeal is accepted, do know that you are expected to know the rules. Breaking any rules or showing any signs of your past behaviour which resulted in your ban will most likely result in you being rebanned without any appeal!

Does this sound alright to you?
Yes, I will obtain myself to the rules and would want to apologies to anyone I have forgotten, like ProjectKO, personally. I am to be able to let go of my past self and show to that I can become a part of this community as a respectable person. If It's get accepted, I would be honored knowing that some maybe considering forgiveness and I will follow through on that path to forgiveness. Thank you
 
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