Why is Kl0zer an impostor, and you will never tell.

Jul 2, 2020
18
15
8
21
New Brunswick, Canada
#1
Hi, you’ve probably stumbled upon this post, saw the title, and asked yourself:

“What is this? Why would Kl0zer be an imposter? What are you talking about?"

If you’ve had the suspicion before that he may be an imposter, or not who he claims to be, you’re in the right place, here in this post I’ve gathered information from hundreds of real-life situations, funny moments, monke moments, life-endangering scenarios and many others behind the scenes like I claimed above, Kl0zer is not who you think he is, he is a dirty, opportunist and sociopath persona.

Before getting into the details, let me introduce myself; my name is Jotarome, to be honest, I’d rather my friends call me Jerome, cause that’s my real name, and I’m pretty sure that everyone that read this far is very much my friends, I appreciate you all.

I live in the northern coast of New Brunswick, Canada, United States. That’s where the shit happens, if you live anywhere else in the world, you’ll fucking die from NOT A MOOSE, that shit so uncool, anyway it’s the coolest shithole on earth.

I had the amazing chance to meet a bunch of amazing new friends over this summer, including klo, at first glance he was very respectful, polite and could actually write properly in the Minecraft chat, I could only name two people, like ever who could actually write with proper grammar and punctuation and those were comp and klo, (I'm not looking at you dream you kinda suck ngl)

ANYWAY KLO IS NOT THE PERSON YOU THINK HE IS AND HE WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP ON YOUR WEDDING MORNING HE DOES NOT CARE HE WILL SIMPLY DO IT FOR THE OWO

I have damn good evidence backing me up here, klozer is and ALWAYS has been an imposter, and I will show you why right now.

Lust:

Klozer, among everything he’s done, really wants that uwu, you’ll always see him in the corner of your eyes fucking spamming that shit literally everywhere you go it’s insane, you can’t escape it, he will literally engulf you and DROWN you in gfuel until you convert to his beliefs, he’s got the looks and sure, he’s kinda handsome but that’s exactly when you think about it that he’s gonna come out and hit YOU hard on your soul and eat it all for himself, he’s gonna suck that shit up like the most freaking poweful vacuum you’ve ever seen my dude, this guy literally goes out of his way to get that anime profile picture in YOUR face to assert his dominance (which actually kinda works tbh) and get you to kneel down before him so he can decimate your ass with a gun, he does not care and never has.

Gluttony:

In every single instance of my life, EVER… that damn guy just keeps asking for more it’s so god damn insane, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HIS FUCKING SHELF FILLED WITH GFUEL? GO ON HIS TWITCH RIGHT NOW TWITCH.TV/KL0ZER AND LOOK BEHIND HIM, YOU SEE THAT SHELF? YEAH IT’S GOT LIKE 3 GFUEL TUBS BUT BEHIND THAT THERE’S LIKE 98 ROWS BELIEVE ME.


he keep buying that shit like it’s fucking 99 cent hotcakes on black Friday, when those fuckboys at gfuel makes ANY kind of sale you’ll see my dude go :eyes: and literally buy half their stock in less than ONE MINUTE you won’t believe how addicted this kid is on this power he does it all he drinks it he snorts it he farts it and he SHOWERS WITH IT (maybe he sleeps with it but it’s not confirmed yet).

I swar the god my dudes been fucking asking for too god damn much sometimes and it’s NOT ONLY in gfuel!!!! You’ll see him do this shit with cosmetics in every game he touches he just lives for that shit I don’t fucking believe it it’s insane.

Greed:

I swear the god klozer literally monke flips in front of EVERYTHING he wants and oh boy he will get it; you see that little d.va 4cm plush over there? It’s like tinier than your thumb, right? WRONG klozer will fucking live the dream if he gets that shit, you’ll see him literally reddit lucio all the way to the enemy spawnpoint to get the bread and he’s not shy about it in the god damn slightest.

Another thing is that this dude CANNOT SUSTAIN HIS OWN AWESOMENESS HE WILL TURN IT INTO HIS ADVANTAGE TO GET THE SHIT HE WANTS, you know those free subs you get with prime right? You don’t fuck with those because it’s just uncool but you know what? This dude will literally spam you ewes and uwus and all that nonsense until you hand him over that sub, he will literally owo you to death if you don’t use it on him, but in all honesty he do kinda deserve it but that’s aside from the point HE IS MAD!!!

Sloth:

This motherfricker is literally the laziest shit in town and I’m about to freaking prove it to y’all asses!!! Did you know this very same guy, who we all thought was cool and shit, ACTUALLY PLAYS MOBILE GAMES COMPETITIVELY??!?!?! This shit is so absaurd it’s crazy he does not CARE IT’S THE WHOLE POINT.

Klozer. Is. A. lazy. Ass and AAAAAAA it’s just so insane you won’t believe it he will go lift his ass up and claim he’s tired, ONLY TO FIND OUT HE’S STILL AWAKE 7 HOURS LATER ON HIS PHONE PLAYING THOSE DRAGON EGG HATCHING WHATEVER GAMES!!!!

Wrath:

Okay, not gonna lie klo doesn’t really have any anger issues or anything so he’s like chill on this one.

EDIT: OK NEVERMIND I FORGOT THIS DUDES RAGES AT SMITE LITERALLy EVERY 9.8 GAMES OUT OF 7

OK BUT GUYS THE POINT IS THAT KLOZER IS LITERALLY THE IMPOSTER I WAS IN ELECTRICAL THE WHOLE TIME OK!?!?!

(8 likes for part 2)
 
Last edited:

TMSStudent3

Overseer
Staff member
Content Member
Overseer
May 18, 2019
124
248
73
19
Hell
#2
Vote him off! How many tasks do we have left to do? Also do we have just him or another impostor?
 

TMSStudent3

Overseer
Staff member
Content Member
Overseer
May 18, 2019
124
248
73
19
Hell
#4
Klozer is pink, or maybe purple
 

TMSStudent3

Overseer
Staff member
Content Member
Overseer
May 18, 2019
124
248
73
19
Hell
#9
I second that, vote pink
 

FracturedDream

Admin
Staff member
Content Member
Admin
Dec 26, 2018
176
171
73
#11
Wrath:

Okay, not gonna lie klo doesn’t really have any anger issues or anything so he’s like chill on this one.

EDIT: OK NEVERMIND I FORGOT THIS DUDES RAGES AT SMITE LITERALLy EVERY 9.8 GAMES OUT OF 7
Ok, but look. How can anyone forget the smite rage? And did anyone even see Jota in electrical? Sounds sus.
 

FracturedDream

Admin
Staff member
Content Member
Admin
Dec 26, 2018
176
171
73
#13
Pfft, we have visual tasks off. Light is trying to defend Jota. Clearly theyre the imposters. Throw them out the airlock.
 

Kl0zer

Relic Renegade
Staff member
Content Member
Overseer
Mar 30, 2019
191
149
73
20
Michigan, United States
#14
How do I vent like dark blue?
 

TMSStudent3

Overseer
Staff member
Content Member
Overseer
May 18, 2019
124
248
73
19
Hell
#15
This might be a self report tbh
 

DaveusV

New Member
Sep 29, 2020
1
4
3
20
#16
Hi, you’ve probably stumbled upon this post, saw the title, and asked yourself:

“What is this? Why would Kl0zer be an imposter? What are you talking about?"

If you’ve had the suspicion before that he may be an imposter, or not who he claims to be, you’re in the right place, here in this post I’ve gathered information from hundreds of real-life situations, funny moments, monke moments, life-endangering scenarios and many others behind the scenes like I claimed above, Kl0zer is not who you think he is, he is a dirty, opportunist and sociopath persona.

Before getting into the details, let me introduce myself; my name is Jotarome, to be honest, I’d rather my friends call me Jerome, cause that’s my real name, and I’m pretty sure that everyone that read this far is very much my friends, I appreciate you all.

I live in the northern coast of New Brunswick, Canada, United States. That’s where the shit happens, if you live anywhere else in the world, you’ll fucking die from NOT A MOOSE, that shit so uncool, anyway it’s the coolest shithole on earth.

I had the amazing chance to meet a bunch of amazing new friends over this summer, including klo, at first glance he was very respectful, polite and could actually write properly in the Minecraft chat, I could only name two people, like ever who could actually write with proper grammar and punctuation and those were comp and klo, (I'm not looking at you dream you kinda suck ngl)

ANYWAY KLO IS NOT THE PERSON YOU THINK HE IS AND HE WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP ON YOUR WEDDING MORNING HE DOES NOT CARE HE WILL SIMPLY DO IT FOR THE OWO

I have damn good evidence backing me up here, klozer is and ALWAYS has been an imposter, and I will show you why right now.

Lust:

Klozer, among everything he’s done, really wants that uwu, you’ll always see him in the corner of your eyes fucking spamming that shit literally everywhere you go it’s insane, you can’t escape it, he will literally engulf you and DROWN you in gfuel until you convert to his beliefs, he’s got the looks and sure, he’s kinda handsome but that’s exactly when you think about it that he’s gonna come out and hit YOU hard on your soul and eat it all for himself, he’s gonna suck that shit up like the most freaking poweful vacuum you’ve ever seen my dude, this guy literally goes out of his way to get that anime profile picture in YOUR face to assert his dominance (which actually kinda works tbh) and get you to kneel down before him so he can decimate your ass with a gun, he does not care and never has.

Gluttony:

In every single instance of my life, EVER… that damn guy just keeps asking for more it’s so god damn insane, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN HIS FUCKING SHELF FILLED WITH GFUEL? GO ON HIS TWITCH RIGHT NOW TWITCH.TV/KL0ZER AND LOOK BEHIND HIM, YOU SEE THAT SHELF? YEAH IT’S GOT LIKE 3 GFUEL TUBS BUT BEHIND THAT THERE’S LIKE 98 ROWS BELIEVE ME.


he keep buying that shit like it’s fucking 99 cent hotcakes on black Friday, when those fuckboys at gfuel makes ANY kind of sale you’ll see my dude go :eyes: and literally buy half their stock in less than ONE MINUTE you won’t believe how addicted this kid is on this power he does it all he drinks it he snorts it he farts it and he SHOWERS WITH IT (maybe he sleeps with it but it’s not confirmed yet).

I swar the god my dudes been fucking asking for too god damn much sometimes and it’s NOT ONLY in gfuel!!!! You’ll see him do this shit with cosmetics in every game he touches he just lives for that shit I don’t fucking believe it it’s insane.

Greed:

I swear the god klozer literally monke flips in front of EVERYTHING he wants and oh boy he will get it; you see that little d.va 4cm plush over there? It’s like tinier than your thumb, right? WRONG klozer will fucking live the dream if he gets that shit, you’ll see him literally reddit lucio all the way to the enemy spawnpoint to get the bread and he’s not shy about it in the god damn slightest.

Another thing is that this dude CANNOT SUSTAIN HIS OWN AWESOMENESS HE WILL TURN IT INTO HIS ADVANTAGE TO GET THE SHIT HE WANTS, you know those free subs you get with prime right? You don’t fuck with those because it’s just uncool but you know what? This dude will literally spam you ewes and uwus and all that nonsense until you hand him over that sub, he will literally owo you to death if you don’t use it on him, but in all honesty he do kinda deserve it but that’s aside from the point HE IS MAD!!!

Sloth:

This motherfricker is literally the laziest shit in town and I’m about to freaking prove it to y’all asses!!! Did you know this very same guy, who we all thought was cool and shit, ACTUALLY PLAYS MOBILE GAMES COMPETITIVELY??!?!?! This shit is so absaurd it’s crazy he does not CARE IT’S THE WHOLE POINT.

Klozer. Is. A. lazy. Ass and AAAAAAA it’s just so insane you won’t believe it he will go lift his ass up and claim he’s tired, ONLY TO FIND OUT HE’S STILL AWAKE 7 HOURS LATER ON HIS PHONE PLAYING THOSE DRAGON EGG HATCHING WHATEVER GAMES!!!!

Wrath:

Okay, not gonna lie klo doesn’t really have any anger issues or anything so he’s like chill on this one.

EDIT: OK NEVERMIND I FORGOT THIS DUDES RAGES AT SMITE LITERALLy EVERY 9.8 GAMES OUT OF 7

OK BUT GUYS THE POINT IS THAT KLOZER IS LITERALLY THE IMPOSTER I WAS IN ELECTRICAL THE WHOLE TIME OK!?!?!

(8 likes for part 2)
Yeah Jota is right he is the imposter I saw him vent
 
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